Spiritual Bypassing vs. True Stillness

How mindfulness can mask rather than heal pain

There’s a kind of stillness that feels like peace—quiet, grounded, open. And then there’s a kind of stillness that feels more like hiding: like holding your breath, like tensing up behind a soft smile.

The first is true stillness.
The second is what many call spiritual bypass.

🪨 Spiritual bypassing is when we use spiritual language, practices, or “good vibes only” mantras to avoid difficult emotions. We meditate instead of grieve. We chant instead of speak hard truths. We slap a “letting go” sticker on top of rage or grief or trauma that actually needs time, validation, and healing attention.

Mindfulness, when misunderstood or misused, can become another tool of bypassing. It can sound like:

“Just observe the emotion.”
“Let it go.”
“Don’t judge.”

And while these phrases can be wise, they can also shut down deeper truths if offered at the wrong time or without context. When someone is actively suffering—grieving, dissociating, surviving trauma—what they often need is not silence or neutrality, but compassion, validation, and grounded support.

True stillness is not about disappearing our pain.
It’s about making space for it.
It’s about holding sorrow or anger with tenderness, not numbing it with breath and posture.

A trauma-informed mindfulness practice doesn’t rush you toward serenity. It respects the pace of your nervous system. It allows you to feel, pause, and stay connected—without pressure to “fix” or “transcend.”

If you’ve ever sat down to meditate and felt worse afterward—there’s nothing wrong with you. You may have bumped into a part of you that needs care, not containment.

So let’s be mindful of how we practice mindfulness.
Let’s not confuse stillness with suppression.
Let’s stay present—not only with our breath, but with our whole, complicated, beautifully human selves.